Three Stinky Punks

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Totally Untrustworthy

What was I doing? If you must ask, I was blogging.

What was Brick doing? Playing with knives. Sharp ones.

Fun! Fun! Fun!

I love knives! Posted by Hello

Witches

Blossom: Mom, what do witches eat?

Me: Um . . . well . . .Eye of newt.

Bloosom: And yogurt?

Me: Yes, eye of newt and yogurt.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Walking

Brick starting walking last week. He took his first step on his birth day and now he's bookin' it. This age is so fun and so sad. He's not going to be a baby for much longer, and yet the trade-off is that all of his little personality will start to shine through.

Bricks personality so far? He loves oranges, bananas, and outside.
He likes to sleep alone, and likes to go to sleep by himself. No snuggling, no rocking, no fuss. Just put me in my crib and leave me alone.

Thursday, March 17, 2005


St. Patrick's Day Posted by Hello

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Package

Auntie B promised to send a sorry-about-the-broken-arm package, and ever since Blossom has been stalking the mail lady. Lying in wait, pouncing out of the shadows, "Is it here? Is that my package? Do you have my package?"

Well it came today. Oh joy! OH Joy! OH JOY!!!!!!!!!!!

Kissing Fairies . . . oh my.  Posted by Hello

Can you feel the love?  Posted by Hello

We love the dolls Auntie B!  Posted by Hello

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Party!

I Love a party. LOve having people over, love feeding them really unhealthy food that blows their minds because it's all cheese and cream and butter and sugar. I love giving people a special moment, when the world is all about them.

Birthdays Rock!

But still, even being the any-excuse-for-a-party kinda gal I am, I still have to say that first birthdays are silliness. The baby has no idea. You say, happy birthday baby, and the baby smiles his big cuteness clueless smile, just like always. You give the baby cake, and the baby smears it all over his head and smiles his big cuteness clueless smile, just like always. You give the baby presents, and the big sisters open them and play with them, and the baby smiles his big cuteness clueless smile. Just like always.

Everyday is a party to a baby.

Happy First Birthday Brick! Posted by Hello

Friday, March 11, 2005

Lunch Conversations

Buttercup: "Knock Knock."

Me: "Who's there?"

"Corn."

"Corn who?"

"Corn Head."

We throw back our heads and laugh like we've lost our minds.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha


And not to be outdone in the comedy department by her little sister . . .

Blossom: "Knock Knock."

Me: "Who's There?"

"Lettuce."

"Lettuce who?"

"Lettuch um . . . Window."

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Thursday, March 10, 2005


Blossom & the Broken Arm Posted by Hello

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Broken Arm

My four-year-old Blossom broke her arm at the park. "The worst open reduction I've ever performed." the orthopedest (sp?) said.

She's okay, but still in a lot of pain. Vomit and tears and codine.

I'll probably be MIA for a few days.

************************************************
Update:
The codine was bad. We've had much better luck with ibuprophen. She's a hurler anyway, she ralfs if she coughs, she up-chucks if she cries too hard.

I can't believe how fast these kids bounce back. Today has been, "no, you can't swing, no don't jump off the couch."

It unfolded like this. I was telling my girlfriends at that park about my morbid fear of water ever since I had children, when some mother yelled, "Is this your daughter?" and I looked up and she was crying. For a spilt second I thought her feelings were hurt, but then the air shifted and went taut and my walk turned to a run. And I heard, "her arm is broken," and indeed it was hanging at the most unnatural angle.

Very, very, very broken. My friend took the two babies (thank goodness for friends) and I took some deep breaths hoping to collect myself to drive my screaming-in-agony child to the doctor without running into a telephone pole or a busload full of kindergarteners. I took her to a doc-in-the-box first, because it was just across the street and the ER was much further. I parked illegally right in front of the entrance and ran inside and it looked abandoned. "hello," I screamed, "is anyone here? Hello?" The guy in the waiting room looked at me like I was nuts on a stick. "hello? hello?" about ten hours after I walked in the door and made enough racket to wake a bear in January, a receptionist saunters out, gives me a look and said, "Yes?" like I had disturbed her coffee break.
"Do you do broken bones here?"
"yes."

So I ran back out to my car, and had to take Blossom out of her car seat again, with the straps, the horrid straps, and bring her into the doc-in-the-box whimpering, and it was abandoned again. Not a soul in site. "Hello?" I start screaming again, "hello!!!" Finally she emerges from the depths again takes one look at the third elbow and finally takes some action . . . which was of course . . . handing me paper work.

I wanted to shove that clip board down her throat until it came out the other end.

Ah hem, where was I?

Finally some people start emerging, including a PA, who said, "I don't think we can do that here. You better take that to the ER, they may need to call in an orthopedest (sp?)." (He was correct.) So they put her arm in a sling with some ice, and I had to put her back in her car seat with the straps, the horrible, horrible straps. And I hit every blasted red light. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. While my baby, whimpered, and cried, and screamed, and asked me over and over again, "Mommy are they going to cut off my arm?" "No, they won't cut it off baby." "Mommy, please don't let them cut off my arm." "They won't cut it off." "Mommy it hurts. Oh mommy, it hurts." "I'm so sorry baby."

After the longest car ride ever, I arrived at the ER at the same time as the dh (who works clear on the very furthest other end of Boise) who carried her inside. The first question was "Are you sure the arm is broken?" until they looked under the ice pack, at which point they rushed us to a room number five and gave my baby some morphine. I love Morphine!!! Anyway, wait, wait, x-rays, wait, wait. X-rays showed that it broke a few inches above the elbow, and the bones were no longer anywhere near each other. Call in a specialist, schedule surgery in a few hours, wait, wait. Watch them prep my baby for the OR, and she was so brave.

The doctor said the surgery would last for a half-hour to forty-five minutes. Two hours and three pins in my baby's arm later he emerged. "It was a tough one." he said over and over.

They we watched my baby wake up crying and disoriented and scared. She was so confused. She thought it wouldn't hurt anymore I think, she thought fixed meant that the pain would be gone. "It still hurts, it still hurts!" My poor baby. And I wanted to rip their throats out for not giving her more drugs. And then vomit, vomit and more vomit.

Vomit in the car on the way home. Vomit all over my clean sheets. Vomit on her only sling. Did I say vomit?

But it's all okay today. She's as happy as a clam and only thinks about it rarely. But still, she has decided she never wants to go to the park, never again.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005


Naughty Little Mess Machines Posted by Hello

Princess Party

Just before nap time a package arrived from Auntie B. It was a party in a box from their cousin who just turned two. Party hats, napkins, treats and favors of many varieties.

Blossom and Buttercup got to eat a piece of birthday cake, then nap time.

All was quiet. Napping usually sounds like that. Then suddenly . . .

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Buttercup came screaming down the hall.

"No!!! Don't tell on me!! NO! Please don't tell on me!!" Blossom tears down the hall after her.


They had snuck out of the their room, nabbed the party box, and had themselves a P. A. R. T. Y. Opened every candy, popcorn, marshmallow, fruit snack. Used the new crayons to draw on their sheets.

Monday, March 07, 2005


Hi Dad! Does this do me justice?  Posted by Hello

Sunday, March 06, 2005


Spring! Posted by Hello

Spring Garden

The girls and I spent time gardening this weekend. They filled up their buckets with peat moss and then dumped it over whatever i was working on at the time. Then they would fill their little water cans, and dump that. It actually worked out quite well.

Brick watched us through the big picture window. I thought about leashing him to the tree (would that be bad?) but the dear husband objected. So he watched through the window. He just stood there for at least an hour, no crying, no protests. What a good boy.

Let Me Out! Posted by Hello

Our Cousin's Birthday Party Posted by Hello

Friday, March 04, 2005

Adventure Baby

It's like spring here!

I took the babies to the park with some friends, and sat on a blanket with pb&j, oranges, bananas, and carrots. Brick insisted on covering my entire body with peanut butter. And bananas, and oranges. And when he was finished making me filthy, he crawled around, getting grass and sand and bark on his bananas, and then mashing it in his mouth, followed by his binki covered in snot.

It seemed to make him happy. Then he tried to eat rocks, and sand sans bananas, and sticks, and bark. He likes it all. Yummy!

Do I need a hair cut?  Posted by Hello

Yes, it is just that gross. Posted by Hello

Thursday, March 03, 2005


Buttercup looking deceptively mild Posted by Hello

Blossom in goofy flower pose Posted by Hello

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

I NOT SICK

So we've had Strep Throat around these parts since Saturday. We were playing at a friend's house, Buttercup says, "I wa' go home."

And I think, "That's weird."

Then Blossom falls asleep.

And I think, "That's weird."

Then Buttercup falls asleep too.

And I think "That's weird."

Then they both wake up with fevers.

So we went home.

And just like the crazy hopped-up punks they are, they alternated between lying in bed listless and bouncing off the walls. Until Monday when Blossom announced that her tongue was weird. And sure enough, it was covered in baby bubble zits. Strawberry tongue. It's freaky looking.

Strep throat. And what's this? My throat is sore too. What fun.

So we've been stuck in this house for five days now. With infectious diseases and bubble gum flavored anti-biotics. And not a lick of excercise to keep the shreds of my sanity from unraveling.

With kids who are supposedly sick, but who act like they've got fireworks exploding under their butts.

"Mommy, I want play w' friends."

"We can't, you're sick."

Buttercup: "I NOT SICK!"

Blossom: "I'm a little bit sick." Batting her eyelashes. She does this a lot.

Blossom: "Mommy, where are we going?"

"Nowhere, You're sick."

Buttercup: STOMPING and GNASHING: "I NOT SICK!"

Blossom: "Am I still sick? I don't want to be sick anymore."

Buttercup: "I NOT SICK!"

Buttercup has this wild curly red hair that is seriously awesome. The purrfect moffet punk hair. And it shakes as she screams at me. It's wicked cute.

Snot-a-thon

Brick has been a snot machine for weeks now. Ever time I turn around he's got big slimey rivers of green grossness flowing from his nose.

Today I bought him his first toy. A green crocodile xylaphone. He adores it. We bought it at DI (the only place to shop for toys) for one dollar. Blossom got to carry it to the door, and Buttercup got to carry it to the car. Then they each took one minute turns playing with it in the car on the way home.

Brick covered it in snot.

Belly Rings

For her last 'date' with me, Blossom asked to get her ears pierced. So I took her to get her ears pierced.

"You gonna take her for her tattoo next?" her daddy asked. I never knew he was such a fan of the slippery slope theory.

She's four, old enough to understand not to yank them out or smear them with poo. And she's tough and she knows what she wants. She did not shed one tear and you should have seen how proud she was when all the pretty ladies with big hair and gobs of mascara made a fuss over the big girl with no tears. That girl LOVEs positive feedback. She's a feedback Monster.

So tonight, when Dh asked her what she wanted to do for her next date.

"Daddy, I want a belly ring."

Har.

A Chronicle of My Kids

So my kids drive me nuts, but they're also the cutest punks on the planet. Ever. And they're also tougher than your kids so just give up now. They've got more snot, more poop, more vomit, more sheer orneriness than I thought existed in the entire universe.

This is me, recording them, in pure, unadulterated, self-absorbed, raw, honesty.